When I cover my face
there’s more space.
I’m wearing my turtleneck,
underneath is the shell,
sitting on the bed
or in a chair
next to my desk—
please leave the furniture out of this.
Personally I’d like to live with somebody
who doesn’t even need to live
with anybody else,
I mean she actually wants to.
Touching my lips
and pulling them apart,
picking a little,
as when you deadhead the irises—
I don’t know why it takes me longer
than anyone else.
In a country of one
There’s no one to give a gift to.
No need to close the door.
I’m not even sure why it’s taking me so long.
When I turn around there’s an empty space behind me that doesn’t even belong to me,
I’m leaving the keys to everything I need to open
in a drawer I’m not going to open,
I’m thinking it’s that simple.
Picking at my lips,
as if I’m making an opening
for the shadows passing over my lips like a border crossing
and the shadows falling in my lap like a rest period.
In a country of one
you don’t bother to knock.
And never hit reply,
Pulling back my lips to make an opening for the watery breath that pools in front of me
like a gift you give yourself
when you don’t have anything else to give.
City of Separation
In our city there are two sides that are separated. The other one is different, it’s so different it needs to be separate—we’re not even comfortable until we’re separated from the other side. I mean how different something is depends on what it’s different from. Breathing the same air, we have our air on this side, and they have theirs on the other side, have you noticed the way the same things are often in different places? It isn’t that far away, just on the other side of our side, touching but disconnected like cells in an ice tray—adjacence isn’t a substitute for attachment. We don’t actually know what it’s like, we’re not inspecting the other side or investigating on the other side, that’s not what it’s there for. It’s true, everybody says it’s a mess, it’s the messy side, they don’t even know when to stop on the other side—everybody says they would ruin our side if we let them, it’s the first thing that happens. Of course, we stay on our side and they stay on theirs—there are sacrifices on both sides. There are signs on both sides, although we don’t understand theirs, and they don’t understand ours. We don’t even speak to them. What would we say? Once we actually waited for them to come over to our side while they were waiting for us to come over to their side at the same time. Were we waiting together? I think it’s better from a distance, better when it’s a safe distance, no closer than we are right now, it’s better when they don’t know us at all and we don’t even know who they are.
City of Meeting
Every time you open the door in our city you’re in the middle of a meeting that continues without interruption as long as everybody is participating, like a program that keeps going as long as you’re watching. There’s a place for everyone in the meeting, to be honest the same place is reserved for everybody, like a pie chart that’s undivided, without a single wedge. You don’t need to be pre-qualified. You don’t have to sit and wait—everybody’s sitting down at the same time, as long as you need to sit down you sit in the front with everybody else who’s sitting with you in the front or in the back with everybody else who’s sitting with you in the back, it doesn’t even matter where you’re sitting as long as you’re sitting next to somebody. Nobody’s saying no you’re not, or not at all, you don’t have any secrets you’re not telling because you don’t need to. Of course you can only be helped when they know what’s wrong with you. Sitting on the edge of your seat to make sure you’re not missing anything, when you open the door the meeting has already started, it’s the kind of meeting that continues as long as everybody has something to contribute, it doesn’t even matter where you’re meeting when every place is a meeting place. Not waiting for anybody to take your hand or give you a hand, it’s not about you. Everybody has something interesting to contribute, as long as you’re contributing there’s nothing wrong with you—if you have something different to say it’s even more interesting, it contributes even more. Honestly it’s the kind of meeting that continues without interruption even if you’re not participating, it doesn’t even matter how long you’re attending the meeting, as in a program that doesn’t end when you stop watching.