Field Notes: Worcester County, December (II)
No matter how gracious the pines, it’s always raining at the abbey.
Scabrous fungi scale the storm-broken tree. Metallic light plummets from the afternoon.
The wild pansies refuse to die, while iris stems rise as if spring is come.
Swept antiseptic, the streets hide away malcontent animals and their traces.
The reservoir, glossy black, promises a blistering moon behind its hills.
Now rain gathers, and snow, softly but firmly soaking down to gristle.
Grackles spackle their cacophony over the holes in high branches, unlike the frantic warnings fritzing from the witch hazel.
Strange warmth. Ground spongy with rain and melt. Holly berryless.
Overnight, three vodka nips and two packs of Newports materialize on the sidewalk, their precise placement a geometric proof meant for insomniacs.
Today I found out my friend ___________ sleeps in a closet, he says.
Inflatable figures encounter us, limp and lurid at unpredictable intervals.
At sunrise, clouds are suspended geologic eras: undereye blue, weathered cedar, medium rare, tangerine.
In the empty street a boy half-falls, his light-up roller skates scattering glitz through road salt prisms. His father watches from a silver truck, its engine running.
Field Notes: Worcester County, January (II)
Evidence of the old year: accidental models of shorelines.
Sickness leaches sound from hills already fogged inscrutable.
For rain, substitute mouthfuls of exhaust. Headlights smolder inside glassine envelopes.
Traces: One downed wasp nest propped upright in beechmast. Two turkey-tail mushrooms gnawed from an oak stump. Three pine shadows striping a stone bench. Four lambs on plinths facing a flimsy fence, and beyond, a gun shop.
Ravens broadcast across the intersection. There must have been a death, he whispers. Testing the real.
One slick of ice is a terrain map of a prehistoric oyster. Another, melting, delivers a leopard-spotted message.
Windstorm twists down a tree in the gulch, its fawn bark flensed with all the artifice of a cutaway jacket.
And the streamlet whittling this minor gulch, dribbling past the old concrete marker and slipping under the road: where is its source?
Dawn crash.
Movie sleet with oaks and beeches. A wet-dark trunk articulates bleached leaves: marcesence.
Exhilaration: the alien thickness of snowy branches.
Triumphant maple expels a rusted staple slowly, through eye-level moss and lichen.
Field Notes: Worcester County, February (II)
Extreme cold. Our exhalations amass as ice on the windows, ruptured fractals we peer through into skittering snowless branches brittled by cut-glass wind.
From the yellowish evergreen a crow sounds with its whole body.
Disoriented for a time, I need to ask the smell of morning.
Spring.
Rain.
Trucks.
Nothing—you’re not missing anything.
I am unprepared for these acts of faith.
Reeds spike snow-covered lumps in the marshes.
White sky openness. False sincerity.
The leafless woods sprout singleton tarps. Atomized plastic city. Plasticity—curiosity. Permanence, protection, provocation? To make private: not privation.
NO TRESPASSING: PUBLIC WATER SUPPLY.
Black cat ( / in the field of spent corn / ) stalks.
Sentinel highway hawks marshal midday into tidy cupolas.
Carnival warmth heralds floats of snow, gray and soft.
Abiding, a girl with green hair stands against a fresh gale.
Field Notes: Worcester County, March (II)
Like flexing knuckles, mornings straighten or crook back. Toward spring, or what passes for winter.
Crocus blossom grows around a hollow stem from last year’s daylilies—or is pierced from the start.
Snow pastes a cardinal with black-edged wings against a bluing sky.
Tentative, these first flowers, first birds. Low to the ground or hesitant to leave the tree heights. Waiting for more cover in the middle distance.
Follow a forked-tongue swallow-tail to a gold corner above the door to the cerulean house.
I have become an inadvertent watcher of birds, and now a noticer of gaps: The spaces between rungs of two fire ladders crossed over the highway. The interior of the doorless pale blue shed, a sudden vacuum, black hole disturbing the sweep of the treeline. A void in the shape of an old woman marching two hours after sunrise, bundled in her quilted coat.
Hawk surveys the gulch from a deadwood spar. From our gutters, sparrows pipe.
Nor’easter casts down huge branches. Snow and ice project over the roof, icicles frame and bar the windows from which we watch clouds skitter behind other trees, other houses. As if we see what the cold allows us to see. As if we are inside the snow. As if we are the cold.
The impaled crocus survives.
Iris bud dotted with rain: coming attraction.
Pink worms in the wet, ignored—the robins must be glutted, or occupied haranguing mourning doves down from their arborvitae nests.
An impossible goose croaks in a storm drain.
Resents root disturbance, a seed packet warns. In the garden bed where sorrel helped itself, a squirrel skull surfaces, with pinholes for missing teeth.
Is it cadet blue, that strange hue before sunrise? A shade training to be a color.
Field Notes: Worcester County, April (II)
The year’s first bees and a fly attack the crocus, unaware that I am reading Jack Gilbert for the first time, trembling with a hunger I could easily assuage. But won’t, yet.
A groundhog trundles from shade to shade. Under cedars, inflated robins and a half-tailed squirrel resume their sparring.
Late afternoon, the oak stump: liquid light crosses moss and lichen, its beery swirl revealing a smoke of gold particulates.
What is living? he asks at bedtime. (Only ever at bedtime.) What does this all mean? I feel that something is missing in my life.
Mist rushes to fill a horizon swept by the airport’s searchlight.
Rain sets loose the maple’s chartreuse chandeliers of pollen, tightens new leaves into frilled furls.
A rooster—bound soon for the neighbor’s pot—cuts through the mid-morning’s humming welter of gnats and mosquitos. Hyacinths list toward the soaked earth.
Across from the bus stop, two birds fight in the street, or one bird, dying, flops over its own body repeatedly; impossible to tell, through traffic.
[…] to inform you […] a student […] bring a gun to school […] police presence […]
The next week, as if laid out for study by a curator’s gentle hands, a hairy woodpecker appears on the shoulder. No sign of violence in its perfect profile, its glossy unbright eye.
In its place the following morning: two spotted feathers and a cigarette butt.
Cabbage moths, flushed from the dandelions by two dogs, romping, splatter the murk of trees beyond the stone wall.
A bumblebee descends, Zeus-like, plunges inside the crocus already half-closed for the night, emerges with saffron pollen all over its thighs. I think of Gentileschi’s Danae, her knuckles.
Soft clumps of oak tassels hover just above the pavement, readily swayed by the slightest wind.
After great heat, astonishments of dew.
Between cement squares a single scilla blooms.
Carolyn Oliver is the author of
The Alcestis Machine (Acre Books, forthcoming 2024),
Inside the Storm I Want to Touch the Tremble (University of Utah Press, 2022; selected for the Agha Shahid Ali Prize in Poetry), and three chapbooks. Her poems appear in
The Massachusetts Review, Copper Nickel, Poetry Daily, Shenandoah, Beloit Poetry Journal, 32 Poems, Southern Indiana Review, At Length, Plume, and elsewhere. She lives in Massachusetts, where she is a 2023-2024 Artist in Residence at Mount Auburn Cemetery.