Las Vegas
The bum approaching the businessman is covered with grime. He’s wearing an awful lot of clothes for this heat, but everyone knows that bums like to layer. The bum smells terrible. It could be sweat or puke or garbage, knowing the bums here. The businessman that the bum’s approaching looks towards this wretch with his eyes only, keeping his face turned towards the other side of the intersection. The bum mumbles something about spare change, and the businessman shoots back, “Get a job!”
The bum straightens himself. “Look Buddy, I’m a Viet Nam vet. I fought for my country and now they fucking spit on me. You all fucking spit on me! Spit on me and shit on me and leave me to die.” The bum whirls around, pointing at nobody in particular. “I can’t get a job, they won’t let me get myself together. What am I supposed to do?” His voice breaks and he falls to the ground.
There’s silence. Then the businessman laughs and a family a little way down the sidewalk applauds. “Shit is a word you shouldn’t say,” the mother says to her son, but she smiles and gives his shoulder a little squeeze.
The bum rises, smiling, and bows to the family. The businessman hands the bum some money and the family sends their child over with a dollar for him. The bum thanks them both and wobbles a little bit for the child. He belches, softly, and the boy laughs.
“That was good,” says the businessman. “Were you really in Viet Nam?”
The bum folds up the money and stuffs it into a pocket of his innermost shirt. “Nah, it was a little before my time, but I did have an uncle who fought there. Terrible business.”
The businessman nods. “You pulled it off well. Do you have any cards?”
“Cards?”
Just then, the mother from the family interrupts. “Excuse me. Do you think our son could get his picture taken with you?”
“Sure,” the bum says, smiling. “Do you want me to look defeated or menacing?”
“I have to go,” says the businessman, “but I enjoyed your work. If you had a card… or a website, even, I could hook you up with some clients or coworkers who are in town at conventions.”
The man smiles again. “Vegas is a wonderful town for that. I don’t have a card, but I generally work around this casino.”
The businessman nods. “Good luck.”
“Thank you, Sir. Now was that menacing or defeated?”
“Oh,” says the mother, “menacing, please.”
The bum leans in over the child and glowers. The child begins to moan and whimper. The bum relaxes a bit. He points to his shoes, from which his big toes stick out. He wiggles the toes and the child smiles. “Sorry,” says the mother, “We’re from Wisconsin; he’s not used to this.”
“That’s fine,” says the bum, looking now only slightly threatening as the mother takes the picture. “That’s just fine.”
