cure
not a dream but day, day
I would stay with your lonely gaze
whose remnant yesterdays, whose micro-apocalypses, whose
lead seasons. whose
revelations have junked cars & plastic pelts. whose red
vacancies slur
: burl, wasp, wax architectural, desert fluorescence, ambulances blazing
landscapes. the climbing atmosphere unfocuses us. its pleading word
exposes gravity’s labor.
there you were a silhouette
I would stay with you. I would stay with time
whose dusky, copper cascades of sun, whose depleted
half-lives. whose
remediations make useless all we have thought about who we are. about
the ways of being we would not
rehearse. whether we have conjured all of this after all
: flickering, cusp of, morning, unsung, but nearly voiced
If I could remember more. If I could ask you
are they shadows then?
would they speak if we asked them?
: I dreamed a word for sky, was
water. I climbed through & put my head out after it. was
another surface, another sky
The red works
are a memory I keep remembering & the caresses, yes, the remonstrations too
/
De-person, de-occurrence; appreciate the damage that accumulates
warmth I’ve ever felt
- (transitive) To take away essential attributes of a person
- (transitive) To take away essential attributes of a felt space
/
I start to worry that its (my) dimensions are flattening
: in
between pulse & fever
body-self plastic, & fluctuating
a thicker awareness
reaching what touches
permeates furnishes
skin-to-skin contact
alight in conflagrations
/
It is for the familiarity of a space to lapse, & what fills the space after it, that presupposes
the body hardened in light,
What has afflicted, irrupted/ imaged, there on the screen; in washes,
thrown fragments, gathering what lush
silences motion
It’s come, it’s here; what has been taken over, what is seen out from
constituted in establishment shots, jump cuts, eyeline matches, dissolutions,
& all the rest
/
Lens that sees but does not want to see, as if forced by machineries that are
not of the thing in itself; fear
I’d find myself alive in its facsimiles, replications, imprints, meaning embroidered in, of, & encased in thread
The attempt at articulating the attempt, not so much in discontinuities but
startling constants, infinite
palpable bitter its indulgent
sighs but still brackish, & tender
heat
/
Writing isn’t enough & I can’t I’ll never make it or make sense of what this is;
I allow myself to be emptied out completely
: river’s blur
closures
but
distant
repetition(s),
sensing
is clear
again
open
means to close
& again
think of
shut,
the distant
/
Maybe the way to tell it (to take care) is that often I get quiet, & coming-to, must memorize the names I’ve let slip
Because I’m still finding new pages, passages in shelves & in the walls of this place
deathless pine glimpsing
feather skin glimmering & sun
Timbres interpenetrating/ fibrous, ever written, cut-out-in-the-open, inasmuch of an eye or a face or a hand, held aloud for anyone whose visiting steps stop to ask why
/
Here will be the center that many conflicting feelings emerge & form alongside the body, its limbs, tangle of ears & noses & skin, in space as in being, inclined to embrace the sensuous agonies of the world
: worlding
erasure
universal
separation
sovereignty
collective
atomization
dialect
extinction
verdict
marginal
rebellion
becoming
script
territory
aura
excess
universal
impulse
/
I’m acutely aware how being-sick turns attention to the self, after the truth that,
yes, there is a world out here, such as it is, teeming & vulnerable
uncovered, branched the body’s rejections
& smoke kept refusals
in cupped palms,
dispersing
/
There are so many ways to say memory I am stunned into it; all that’s left is to
languish in the morning lonely
brush of nebulae
adjusting my own body, sunlit rustling
& finally, I trace an intensity; reverberations of affect echoing
listen
tinges
frenetic plucking, of stillness
also